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Nov. 3rd, 2008

dearlover

ScheduleShemdule!


Oct. 25th, 2008

dearlover

C and B. :D


Sep. 20th, 2008

dearlover

Dear Multiply Citizens,

Sep. 6th, 2008

dearlover

Fresh Start.

I'm moving out. Go and try to find my new LJ but I'm not telling.

Byebye (:
dearlover

TWO WEEKS

I need some reassurance that things will be okay-- that things will be not change.



..because something inside me is telling me otherwise.
I'm being hopeful but it's hard. It is really hard but I try.

In the meantime, all I can do is wait.
This is going to be a very very very long wait.

Sep. 3rd, 2008

dearlover

Skate or Die Series

To those who question and fail to understand.

PART I

to whom it may concern

i dont usually rant but ive been hearing reports about people questioning why we played saguijo after the concert.

first things first. when marlboro pulled out and cancelled the show  week ago, the band was free of all obligation to play the show. if it was about the money we could have just walked away fully paid no explanations to the press or anybody. free from the contract. the band decided to play nevertheless. the tickets and the prices was for the new promoters to buy out the production from philip morris to put it simply. contrary to what some people think it takes money to stage a concert. stage, lights, and video screens don't magically grow out of the ground. that's what the ticket prices were for. the band was not in the negotiation meetings between the the two promoters and we did not want to be in the meetings.

personally i said just call me cos i'm ready to rock. no extra pay no contract negotiations. as far as the eheads was concerned were out of the contract.

but here's what you dont understand. playing music is what we do. we play when we're happy, play when we're sad, play when we're angry, play when we're sick, play til we die.

painters paint, writers write, my skateboarding friends skate or die, when u ask nba superstars what they do in their spare time. they play basketball. us musicians, we play. thats what we do. getting paid is a bonus. i will not apologize for that. when we don't get paid we still play.

we played saguijo because we wanted to, we needed to. our hearts and souls dictated it. we could just go home and sleep. we did not talk about it. there was no invites there was no plan. we did not get paid. we borrowed equipment.

yes ely knew about it. buddy told him the next day. yes pupil was in saguijo too.

yes marcus buddy and i have lost a parent. we know how it feels.

ive been playing music for more than 30 years. professionally since 1993.there have been a few times when it was me who was unable to continue the set due to illness. albeit it was a lesser scale and (thankfully) never reported. it was nonetheless life threatening. ive had a run in with losing my voice, food poisoning, diarreah (embarassing) and a few more i do not care to mention that involved blood and bones. i had to drop out of the set from the eheads, cambio and sandwich. thankfully there was always someone there to finish the set for me. and i am thankful that they were there. i did not feel bad. ive also saved a few shows from other bands when **** happens. we dont plan this and we dont complain but we still play.

my bmx friends ride with broken bones.

if we finished the eheads show that night you would STILL have found us in guijo playing after.

yes i visited ely in the hospital yesterday. i hope he recovers soon. we have a show to finish.

music is life
ill only stop playing when i die.

raym<s>

Part II

feel free to replace music with your own passion.

ever since grade 3 when i discovered the yamaha portable keyboard .i
never stopped playing music.and before that i played records on my
portable turntable.

before school, after school, summer and christmas breaks, when i was
alone, when i was with friends i found time to play music.

like all the kids in my street i played street games. i could kick
anybody's ass in sipa (betamax vid) i was good in tumbang preso but i
sucked at jolen.

in my little barrio, we played everything plus more (than the city
kids) we climbed trees, swam rivers, walked railroad tracks and rice
paddies, hiked hills , everything rural kids do.

there was also street basketball, bmx, breakdancing and girls.

in between all of this i always found time to play music.

i knew from that early age that it flowed in my veins.

so don't judge me when i want to play .

with or without an audience, with or without pay.

i play when i fall in love , when my heart gets broken. playing music
healed me when i lost my father. i played when my daughter was born.
(sandwich played baguio the next day).i wake up in the middle of the
night to record tracks in my undies. paradiddles help get me through
road rage.

it sounds corny but music really is my life and most of my friend's
lives.

i find it upsetting that i'm ranting and trying to defend myself from
insensitive people hiding under a pseudonym.

the next day after the concert i was still blue but i managed to
finish a remix for bagetsafonik.

today, to get myself out of a blue funk in bed. i worked on 9 tracks
for a hip hop project with rock ed.

last night. i skated with mong at the fort. i don't call myself a
skateboarder. i just cruise and try to pop some ollies but the real
skaters skate with swollen ankles, bruised wrists and (mong) murdered
toenails.

i bumped into them tonight after dinner. they were smiling and full of
life at midnight. not injured and defeated.

like me, they can't stop.

zappa said "shut up and play yer guitar"

raym<s>

Part III

make no mistake. i'm not shoving my music to everybody. in fact my
neighbors are probably tired of it haha. some of my closest friends
and family have no desire to listen to it. my daughter didn't even
know who the eraserheads were when teachers were asking about reunion
rumors. as far as she knows, the good thing about that big show was
trashing my hotel room with buddy and marcus' kids, the big swimming
pool and the air conditioned tents backstage.

if you like what you hear , thank you. if you don't, feel free to try
something else. i don't like anchovies myself.

i was admittedly hesitant about the first reunion. i was not sure if i
could handle the pressure and crap that came with it.

at this very moment. i'm actually thinking of doing it again. (when
ely gets well and strong of course)

i watched a kid fall after trying to kick flip a 7 step stairway in
u.p. he failed 5 times. but kept getting up. dusted himself . made
some adjustments until he finally nailed it. we all cheered and went
home smiling.

somehow i know how it feels.

Sep. 1st, 2008

dearlover

Just so you know.

I'm here cos I'm putting my faith on you.

Keep it alive, will ya?

Aug. 26th, 2008

dearlover

OLD BERCH

JC posted a very senti post (http://jctaruc.multiply.com/journal/item/45/I_miss_this?replies_read=11 ) about Berch when it was still in Berchman's. Cos now yknow, it's in Colayco Pav and now we're called ColBerch HAHA see the pun? So yeah. People started posting Old School Berch memories and photos on JC's page and Sonny (Berch08) ,out of the blue, messages me this:


HAHAHA.

Aug. 19th, 2008

dearlover

ISA THE MANGO VERSION


PAKYU KA SA ERTH. :D

c/o of faceyourmanga.com    

Aug. 18th, 2008

dearlover

If I am still breathing by the end of this week,

Aug. 17th, 2008

dearlover

I have the workload of an entire nation. I haven't started on anything.

Aug. 9th, 2008

dearlover

They're not criminals; they're ANIMALS.

A blog entry by Ms. Lacsamana on her visit to Tara Santelices

Kararating ko lang galing Medical City. Dinalaw namin at ipinagdasal si Tara. Kasama ko sina Sir Louie Lorenzo, Sir Lito Jimenez, Ms. Taks Clarete, Ms Ettie Miranda at Ms. Rorie Francisco. 

Halos mapuno ang pasilyo ng ospital dahil sa mga nakapilang mga tao na nais makita si Tara. Nagtataka ang ilang nars dahil ang daming bisita ni Tara. Di nakatiis ang isang nars at nagtanong kung kaanu-ano namin si Tara. Sabi namin " dati naming estudyante." Ang sagot ng aming kausap ay " ang dami niyang bisita hanggang kahapon." Isang matipid na ngiti at sabay sabing " oo,  dahil marami ang nagmamahal kay Tara."

 Niyakap kami ni Lila, ang kapatid ni Tara na naging estudyante rin namin. Pinauna kami na makapasok sa ICU upang tingnan si Tara. Dala-dalawa lang ang maaaring makapasok sa ICU at sa labas lamang ng kuwarto na may salamin mo makikita si Tara. Sa ganoong sitwasyon sari-saring emosyon ang iyong mararamdaman. Mahirap at masakit sa loob na makita ang dati mong estudyante sa ganoong kalagayan. Halos maga na ang kanyang ulo na may benda. Malakas ang kanyang paghinga sa tulong ng respirator. Halos nakalabas ang itim na bahagi ng mata dahil na rin sa bala ng baril na nasa kanyang utak. Kausap namin ang kanyang ina at isinalaysay ang tunay na nangyari. 10% lang ang tsansa kung maooperahan siya. Ang bala ng baril ay "double action." Ibig sabihin nito ay maliliit na bahagi ng bala ay nakakalat sa kanyang utak. Mahirap at maselan ang operasyon dahil iisa-isahing tanggalin ang maliit na bahagi ng bala.   

Nagpakilala ako sa kanyang ina at sinabi ko na ako ang teacher-in-charge  (IV-3 batch 2003) ni Tara. Tinanong ko siya kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari. Iba kasi ang mga naglalabasang balita. 

Siya namang dating ni Joee, bestfriend ni Tara. Isinalaysay ni Joee ang tunay na  nangyari. Birthday ni Tara ng Agosto 6. Nag-text sa kanya si Tara na magkita sa "Burger King" sa Marcos Highway. Galing pa si Joee sa CSB, Taft Ave. Napagkasunduan nilang hintayin ang 12:00 ng madaling araw upang ipagdiwang ang 23 kaarawan ni Tara. Matapos ang 12:00 ng madaling araw ay sumakay sila ng dyip pauwi ng Cainta, Rizal. Sila lang ang sakay ng dyip. Pahinto-hinto ang dyip upang magsakay ng pasahero. Hanggang may isang lalaki na sumakay sa dyip na umupo sa tabi ni Tara sa bandang hulihan. Pababa ang lalaki ng agawin ang bag ni Tara. Naghatakan sila sa bag. Nakarinig na lang ng putok si Joee na nakaupo sa tabi ni Tara. Nang tingnan niya si Tara, ito pala ang nabaril at sa ulo mismo. Sinabi ni Joee sa driver na dalhin sila sa malapit na ospital. Bago pa sila makarating sa malapit na klinika ay binaba pa isa-isa ang mga pasahero. Halos isang oras bago sila nakarating. Pagkahatid sa klinika ay iniwan na sila ng drayber. Tinanggihan ng klinika na tanggapin si Tara dahil hindi nila kayang gamutin. Naghintay pa si Joee ng mahabang sandali upang tulungan sila ng mga nars na tumawag ng taxi at dalhin sa Eulogio "Amang " Rodriguez Hospital si Tara. Isipin na lang na 5' 2 ang taas ni Joee at siya pa ang nagbuhat kay Tara. Di na makausap ni Joee si Tara nang nasa EAR hospital. Tinawagan niya ang mga magulang ni Tara at kanyang mga magulang upang ipaalam ang mga pangyayari. 
 
Nakalulungkot isipin na buhay na ang nakabingit ay parang walang pakialam ang mga pasahero ng dyip na nagpababa pa sa kani-kanilang destinasyon. Ikalawa, kung di  pa sumigaw si Joee upang magpatulong sa mga nars sa klinika na kanilang napuntahan na tumawag ng taksi upang dalhin sa pinakamalapit na ospital ay di pa kikilos. Siya pa ang nagbuhat kay Tara upang isakay sa taksi. 

Medyo masakit at sariwa pa kay Joee ang mga pangyayari kaya di na kami nagtanong pa. Pumunta kami sa waiting area at nakita namin ang ama ni Tara. Tinawag  namin  ang mga kaibigan, kaklase at mga mahal sa buhay ni Tara upang manalangin. Sa pangunguna ni Ms. Taks Clarete ay ipinagdasal namin si Tara.

Pagkatapos ng limang (5) taon ay nagkita-kita kami ng aking mga dating mag-aaral at TIC class. Nakalulungkot ang sabi ng isang mag-aaral  " Ms, dito pa tayo nag-reunion." Sabi ko sa ilang mga dati kong estudyante na noong Agosto 1, bigla na lang sumulpot si Tara sa facebook at humihiling na i-add ko siya. Nang mabalitaan ko ang nangyari sa kanya ay tiningnan ko ang kanyang facebook profile. Sinulatan ko siya sa kanyang 'wall' dahil kaarawan niya. Di ko alam kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin sa kanyang "recent activity" na nakasulat sa facebook: " Tara Bosch Santelices is chasing analog ghosts." Ikinuwento ko sa kanila na para siyang may premonisyon. Ang sagot ng ilan ay ; "Miss, sa kanyang ym ay kanyang isinulat: "there's a bullet in my head." 

Para sa iyo Tara, nandito kami .... nanalangin at nagbabantay sa iyong paggaling.

_______________

Now you know.

Now, let's pray for her. (:

dearlover

Truth behind the words circling around you and I.

A blog entry by Ms. Lacsamana on her visit to Tara Santelices


Kararating ko lang galing Medical City. Dinalaw namin at ipinagdasal si Tara. Kasama ko sina Sir Louie Lorenzo, Sir Lito Jimenez, Ms. Taks Clarete, Ms Ettie Miranda at Ms. Rorie Francisco. 

Halos mapuno ang pasilyo ng ospital dahil sa mga nakapilang mga tao na nais makita si Tara. Nagtataka ang ilang nars dahil ang daming bisita ni Tara. Di nakatiis ang isang nars at nagtanong kung kaanu-ano namin si Tara. Sabi namin " dati naming estudyante." Ang sagot ng aming kausap ay " ang dami niyang bisita hanggang kahapon." Isang matipid na ngiti at sabay sabing " oo,  dahil marami ang nagmamahal kay Tara."

 Niyakap kami ni Lila, ang kapatid ni Tara na naging estudyante rin namin. Pinauna kami na makapasok sa ICU upang tingnan si Tara. Dala-dalawa lang ang maaaring makapasok sa ICU at sa labas lamang ng kuwarto na may salamin mo makikita si Tara. Sa ganoong sitwasyon sari-saring emosyon ang iyong mararamdaman. Mahirap at masakit sa loob na makita ang dati mong estudyante sa ganoong kalagayan. Halos maga na ang kanyang ulo na may benda. Malakas ang kanyang paghinga sa tulong ng respirator. Halos nakalabas ang itim na bahagi ng mata dahil na rin sa bala ng baril na nasa kanyang utak. Kausap namin ang kanyang ina at isinalaysay ang tunay na nangyari. 10% lang ang tsansa kung maooperahan siya. Ang bala ng baril ay "double action." Ibig sabihin nito ay maliliit na bahagi ng bala ay nakakalat sa kanyang utak. Mahirap at maselan ang operasyon dahil iisa-isahing tanggalin ang maliit na bahagi ng bala.   

Nagpakilala ako sa kanyang ina at sinabi ko na ako ang teacher-in-charge  (IV-3 batch 2003) ni Tara. Tinanong ko siya kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari. Iba kasi ang mga naglalabasang balita. 

Siya namang dating ni Joee, bestfriend ni Tara. Isinalaysay ni Joee ang tunay na  nangyari. Birthday ni Tara ng Agosto 6. Nag-text sa kanya si Tara na magkita sa "Burger King" sa Marcos Highway. Galing pa si Joee sa CSB, Taft Ave. Napagkasunduan nilang hintayin ang 12:00 ng madaling araw upang ipagdiwang ang 23 kaarawan ni Tara. Matapos ang 12:00 ng madaling araw ay sumakay sila ng dyip pauwi ng Cainta, Rizal. Sila lang ang sakay ng dyip. Pahinto-hinto ang dyip upang magsakay ng pasahero. Hanggang may isang lalaki na sumakay sa dyip na umupo sa tabi ni Tara sa bandang hulihan. Pababa ang lalaki ng agawin ang bag ni Tara. Naghatakan sila sa bag. Nakarinig na lang ng putok si Joee na nakaupo sa tabi ni Tara. Nang tingnan niya si Tara, ito pala ang nabaril at sa ulo mismo. Sinabi ni Joee sa driver na dalhin sila sa malapit na ospital. Bago pa sila makarating sa malapit na klinika ay binaba pa isa-isa ang mga pasahero. Halos isang oras bago sila nakarating. Pagkahatid sa klinika ay iniwan na sila ng drayber. Tinanggihan ng klinika na tanggapin si Tara dahil hindi nila kayang gamutin. Naghintay pa si Joee ng mahabang sandali upang tulungan sila ng mga nars na tumawag ng taxi at dalhin sa Eulogio "Amang " Rodriguez Hospital si Tara. Isipin na lang na 5' 2 ang taas ni Joee at siya pa ang nagbuhat kay Tara. Di na makausap ni Joee si Tara nang nasa EAR hospital. Tinawagan niya ang mga magulang ni Tara at kanyang mga magulang upang ipaalam ang mga pangyayari. 
 
Nakalulungkot isipin na buhay na ang nakabingit ay parang walang pakialam ang mga pasahero ng dyip na nagpababa pa sa kani-kanilang destinasyon. Ikalawa, kung di  pa sumigaw si Joee upang magpatulong sa mga nars sa klinika na kanilang napuntahan na tumawag ng taksi upang dalhin sa pinakamalapit na ospital ay di pa kikilos. Siya pa ang nagbuhat kay Tara upang isakay sa taksi. 

Medyo masakit at sariwa pa kay Joee ang mga pangyayari kaya di na kami nagtanong pa. Pumunta kami sa waiting area at nakita namin ang ama ni Tara. Tinawag  namin  ang mga kaibigan, kaklase at mga mahal sa buhay ni Tara upang manalangin. Sa pangunguna ni Ms. Taks Clarete ay ipinagdasal namin si Tara.

Pagkatapos ng limang (5) taon ay nagkita-kita kami ng aking mga dating mag-aaral at TIC class. Nakalulungkot ang sabi ng isang mag-aaral  " Ms, dito pa tayo nag-reunion." Sabi ko sa ilang mga dati kong estudyante na noong Agosto 1, bigla na lang sumulpot si Tara sa facebook at humihiling na i-add ko siya. Nang mabalitaan ko ang nangyari sa kanya ay tiningnan ko ang kanyang facebook profile. Sinulatan ko siya sa kanyang 'wall' dahil kaarawan niya. Di ko alam kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin sa kanyang "recent activity" na nakasulat sa facebook: " Tara Bosch Santelices is chasing analog ghosts." Ikinuwento ko sa kanila na para siyang may premonisyon. Ang sagot ng ilan ay ; "Miss, sa kanyang ym ay kanyang isinulat: "there's a bullet in my head." 

Para sa iyo Tara, nandito kami .... nanalangin at nagbabantay sa iyong paggaling.

_______________

Now you know.

Now, pray. (:

dearlover

Give in. Give.

THERE IS SOMETHING WE CAN DO FOR TARA SANTELICES. PLEASE FORWARD TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

Word spreads around fast and almost everyone has already heard about what happened to our dear friend, Tara Santelices (Assumption Antipolo’s Batch 2003 and Ateneo de Manila University’s Class of 2007, AB Political Science).

On the eve of her 23rd birthday, Tara was shot in the head during a hold-up while riding a jeepney along Imelda Avenue, Cainta, Rizal. Joee Mejias, who was with her at that time, rushed her to Amang Rodriguez Memorial Hospital in Marikina City. The parents of Tara and Joee arrived at the hospital shortly thereafter. When morning came, Tara’s parents finally decided to transfer her to the Medical City, Ortigas Avenue, Pasig City. Since 8:00am of August 6, Tara has been in the ICU fighting for her dear life. Her parents have decided not to push through with the operation.

Although it might seem that there is nothing else that we can do but wait for Tara to wake up from this horrific nightmare, we, the friends of Tara, have decided to raise funds for Tara’s hospital bills. This is the least we can do to ease the unbearable pain her family is going through. We have been given the go-signal from Tara’s dad, Tito Larry, and here are the details:

The temporary bank account is under Anne Marie F. Santelices, Banco de Oro, SA 2140-062201. For direct cash donations, please proceed to the ICU Waiting Room of the Medical City (Ortigas Avenue, Pasig City). Please look for Joee Mejias or Lila Santelices.

Any amount will be gratefully accepted. Anonymous donations are also welcome. Please spread the word. Forward this to your family, friends and even to everyone else you know. Please post this on Friendster, Multiply, Facebook and wherever else you can think of. Please send group messages on Yahoo Messenger. This will mean so much to us, her friends. 

Please continue praying for Tara, for Joee and for both of their families. If you want to come see Tara, visiting hours at the ICU are at 9:00 am to 11:00 am and 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm.

Thank you so much for your time and kind consideration.

For inquiries, please contact Joee Mejias (09228154987) for calls and Jac Ledonio (09167243071) or Myka Francisco (09163695148) for text messages.



Give.

Repost this.

Do it.

Aug. 2nd, 2008

dearlover

THE HORROR OF MONDAY SCHEDULE.

I hate my ES lab and everybody knows it and then here goes the heavens sending a gift of love, mercy, and compassion.

HERE:

Written by Office of the Secretary-General   
Friday, 01 August 2008 12:55
21 July 2008


MEMO TO:    The Loyola Schools Community

FROM:       Ma. Assunta C. Cuyegkeng - Vice President for the Loyola Schools

SUBJECT:    Monday Schedule and Holding of Special Classes



Due to the numerous holidays, typhoons, and special events falling on Monday, it has been agreed that the Loyola Schools will follow the Monday schedule on

                       Thursday, 7 August 2008, and
                         Friday, 15 August 2008.

We will have lost a total of 8.5 class days this semester, five of them on a Monday. The two days will help the Monday classes, especially the laboratory classes and the three-hour lecture classes, to catch up.

The faculty members are encouraged to hold special make-up classes, as may be needed. We would appreciate early planning of these classes so that we can accommodate everyone. Please reserve classrooms and facilities online, using the Facilities Reservation Computerized System of thte OAS.  Please note that the most available slots are follows:

            4:30 PM to 9:00 PM    Monday, Tuesday,Thursday
            6:00 PM to 9:00 PM    Wednesday, Friday
            1:00 PM to 4:00 PM    Saturday

Thank you very much.
from: http://ateneosanggu.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOOHOO. 4 FUCKIN LAB MEETINGS IN TWO WEEKS. Those would exactly be 8 hours spent in hell. Yknow what I mean when I say, hell.

DPD, This is going to be fun.

Worse, I'll miss one Judo class. :(

Jul. 28th, 2008

dearlover

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for what I did.
I'm sorry if I lost your trust.
I'm sorry if you think I lied.
I'm sorry I had to break you.
I'm sorry you're injured.
I'm sorry you can't understand.
I'm sorry I can't make you do so.
I'm sorry I'm making you TRY even if you don't want to.

SORRY.

I'm sorry that my sorry's won't do any good.

Jul. 26th, 2008

dearlover

Did you find what you were looking for?

It's kinda insane how laptops have the ability to punch you right in the middle, that tiny tiny area between the heart and the mind where only quaint amounts of emotions survive.


I've always been indecisive. I swing from one thing to another, trying to find where my heart is. It has been quite a search, really. And although  that space in my chest has been perpetually empty, I was fine having it that way. Life was perfectly boring as it is and I was liking it that way. Things, however, started getting thrown my way. I never asked for it but somehow it made its way into my life, adding up to my life's litany of shit. At the back of my mind, I knew it was coming but I was so busy denying that I forgot about what was really happening. I try hard but I just know that I'm bound to make a mess.

I really don't think I'm ready to find what I'm looking for.

I need someone who won't confuse me even more. I need someone who can stop this crash from happening.
I need someone who will pick it all up and put things back the way it used to be. I think I need a friend. I really do.


And this is not just about what you think it is. My life really is fucked up.

Jul. 22nd, 2008

dearlover

There's always something beautiful about being torn.

-Ceej

You know what I think? I really don't know.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK, TO DO, OR TO FEEL.

Jul. 17th, 2008

dearlover

an impending haircut


sawa na kasi ako eh. kaylangan na magpalit. so, whadya think?

dearlover

HINDI KAYO MARUNONG LUMINGON SA PINAGKAINAN NIYO!

-mom

LOL. =))

Mom was extremely mad at us cos no one was cleaning up the dishes etc etc. She was scolding and babbling away laddilah and she screams this to us. A very quotable quote, right Zarah? Parang ano lang ah.. Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinagkainan, di makakain bukas.

This was two nights ago but I only had time to post it now cos I was busy with my ES presentation and being sick. Sorray!

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